17. Sophia is smart, talented and incredibly nice. As a team leader, she wishes Nathan, a member of her history project, did his part as required. But rather than criticize him, Sophia offered polite encouragement trying to push him instead, only to find that Nathan kept falling behind. It ended up that other team members, who had to take on more work, complained about both Sophia and Nathan, while Nathan himself complained that he was not treated fairly.
How did poor Sophia get into this mess? The primary reason was that Sophia failed in a key aspect of leadership — the duty to provide clear feedback (反馈) for team members. This isn't simply a duty but a correctness.
Failing to question or criticize Nathan's work, Sophia was in fact unkind. Many people are not a failure, like Nathan in this case;they're just in the wrong place, and still left in the dark. What they really need is feedback from their leaders. However, Sophia, in this case, withheld a gift from Nathan.
"You'd better use open, honest, continuous and clear feedback," says Harry Kraemer, a professor of management and strategy at Northwestern University, "to help figure out someone's best fit — in their particular job or in the organization."
This approach also prevents surprises. It's not uncommon to see someone suddenly removed from a team. They may have deserved it, but with a kind leader, they wouldn't have been caught off-guard because they would have been receiving open, honest, continuous and clear judgment of their performance.
Then why is it so hard for leaders to give good feedback? "We like to be liked," Kraemer says. So we avoid anything that may cause unpleasantness, but that kind of feedback usually helps members find the right place for them. "If you like to be liked, the chance of being respected is extremely low. However, if you start off focusing on being respected, you have a chance of being liked." Kraemer adds. The most difficult part for the leader, of course, involves criticizing someone. That is what a nice leader finds hard.
Back to Sophia's case. Not telling Nathan how he was on the team only made a hard situation worse. But with a different mindset, she could have set herself and Nathan up for success.